Egoist
by SaoriK
Summary: Iemitsu loved so much that it hurt him and Nana. [One-shot]


Disclaimer: I don't own Katekyo Hitman REBORN!

Inspired by the song Sorry that I loved you by Anthony Neely

* * *

 _ **"I'm so sorry that I loved you**_

 _ **I'm so sorry that I hurt you"**_

 _ **— Sorry that I loved you ( Anthony Neely )**_

* * *

Iemitsu was a man that loved with all of his heart.

For him was all or nothing—there was no in between: or he loved with every fiber of his being or the person was nothing for him. And because of that he couldn't handle his own feelings. Iemitsu would drown in his own love and not give a crap.

But he was also a selfish man.

The one he loved would drown with him. There wouldn't be any mercy as he poured all his affection and care on his beloved till the other felt the same, dragging them to the madness that was their love. Both, blinded by an illusion of a fairytale with a happy ending.

It was a foolish act, Iemitsu knew it, and even so he couldn't help but fall head over heels for Nana. His heart would beat in a speed and strength that he felt it would explode and not even in the face of death he felt like that.

Everything about the woman was perfect. From her sweet voice to her delicate silhouette. The way she was a little air-headed and loved those cliche romances. Every bit of her was a bliss to Iemitsu. A bliss that he wouldn't give up for anything.

He shouldn't do it. He was mafia while she was a civilian. They couldn't be together, not if he wanted her safe. But Iemitsu was a strong man (or so he thought) and he could protect her (but not from himself).

He courted her, dated her and in the end he married her. They bought a house in Namimori and lived together. Nana got pregnant and gave birth to one Sawada Tsunayoshi.

They lived a happy life. (It was all fake, fake, _fake_.)

The wife did not know about her husband's work and the husband... well, he lied with a goofy smile and counted his lasts days on his home (the one he swore to Nana to protect).

The time for him to go back to his work came and so he left his wife and kid behind (they didn't need to know the fear of not knowing if he would come back alive).

(Instead, Nana lived with the pain of the gossip and the self-hate of fearing that he didn't love her anymore. _'You need to trust him'_ , she said to herself as she calmed her child with the promise that his father loved him and soon would be back.)

At first he would always make calls and chat for hours. He would promise to visit them. But as time passed, his work became more demanding and his calls were less frequent and he couldn't keep his promises anymore (his promises turned into lies).

Iemitsu wasn't oblivious to their pain. He was a mafia man and he needed to know how to read people, so he never missed the little cracks in Nana's mask. No, he saw them crystal clear.

His heart always twists in agony and regret as he hears his beloved wife reassures him that is okay, that she understand that his work won't let him come home, because he knows that it isn't okay, that she is faking it. Her cheerful voice isn't cheerful, it's empty and he knows that on the other side of the phone her smile isn't as bright as it used to be.

Iemitsu was the one who gave her everything she could ask for, but he too was the one who took away this everything, leaving her with nothing but sorrow and empty promises.

He was a cruel, cruel man.

And he couldn't stop being one, because that meant to give up on her and let her and Tsunayoshi move on to find a new family. He would never let that happen.

He may hate hurting the loves of his life, leaving them alone with lies and broken hearts, however he would hate even more see Nana with another man.

He was selfish and he wouldn't change that, not if that meant to be with his dear wife.

He loves Nana and he would never stop loving her.

Even when that blind love hurt both of them.

* * *

 ** _"Sorry I was falling in love with you_**

 ** _I'm sorry that it came true"_**

 ** _— Sorry that I loved you ( Anthony Neely )_**


End file.
